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This is post two in the Uninvited Book Club. We are reading through the book Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst.
I went LIVE in our Facebook group to discuss these chapters. Here’s the video discussion of Chapters 5-8:
Chapter 5: Hello, My Name is Trust Issues
Wow, the first part of chapter 5 was spot on… at least for me! How often do we go to God and just ask Him to bless OUR plans instead of TRUSTING our lives to HIS plan! Especially when it comes to relationships… we fear rejection and hurt and so we don’t want to take the risk.
Lysa talks about a retreat that she went on and she knew that God was going to “untangle” some of her trust issues there. She refers to Bob & Maria Goff in this section… if you haven’t read Bob’s book “Love Does” I highly encourage you to put it on your must read list!
When it comes to issues of trust, Lysa tells us…
“What we see will violate what we know unless what we know dictates what we see.”
Stop and read that again… let it soak in. What we see right in front of us will sabotage us EVERYTIME if we let our emotions and feelings run wild. We have to dictate what we see by what we KNOW to be true in God’s word!
There is such freedom in living this way, especially when it comes to how we deal with other humans. The husband, the kids, the friends, the coworkers, the family… we can’t avoid humans and dealing with humans is hard! She reminds us that…
“With the fullness of God, we are FREE to let humans be humans – fickle and fragile and forgetful.”
She points out three scriptures here that remind us of how we don’t have to live in fear… as she says our peace “does not rise and fall” based on others! Let these speak to your soul today and give you a glimpse of freedom!
Romans 8:31 – “What, then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Hebrews 13:6 – “So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Psalm 27:1 – “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?”
She closes the chapter telling us that “If we become enamored with something in this world we think offers better fullness than God, we will make room for it. We leak out His fullness to make room for something else we want to chase.”
We do truly deny God of filling us with His fullness because we choose to fill that space up with other things! Let’s strive for filling ourselves up with HIM!
Chapter 6: Friendship Breakups
I think as women we so desperately want to be connected in deep friendships, but our own selfishness and pride often gets in the way! I know I’ve found that to be true in my own life.
“People who care more about being right than ending right prove just how wrong they were all along.”
Let that quote just settle in for a moment, does it step on your toes a little… I know it steps on mine!
She tells us that “Bitterness, resentment, and anger have no place” in our hearts! She gently reminds us that we have a very real enemy and that our enemy is “not each other.” The key is to recognize that and be willing to fight for relationships even when it’s hard and not let our own pride get in the way!
I think ultimately this is more about honoring God than being right… friends, let’s strive for “ending right” not “being right!” This often means swallowing our pride and humbling ourselves in relationships.
Chapter 7: When our Normal Gets Snatched
She opens this chapter with several stories…
Being rejected by a boyfriend…her normal was snatched away.
A women being robbed… her normal was snatched away.
A friend whose husband left her… her normal was snatched away.
Some things get taken from you, sometimes you get them back and other times you can’t get them back. We have a choice to make when the normal is snatched away. We have two options.
Lysa talks about the idea of standing between 2 boxes… one with a horrible smell and one with the sweet smell of white lilies… “A box of bitterness. A box of grace.”
“Grace given when it feels least deserved is the only antidote for bitter rot.”
We can choose bitterness or we can choose grace! Bitterness will ultimately lead us to more hurt, grace can lead us to healing!
“It’s impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory at the same time.”
Resonate on that a moment… you can’t be a victim and claim victory in Christ!
“Humility can’t be bought at a bargain price. It’s the long working of grace upon grace within the hurts of our hearts. Each hole left from rejection must become an opportunity to create more and more space for grace in my heart.”
Chapter 8: The Corrective Experience
Sometimes we have to make hard choices that we know has the potential to hurt someone. Lysa points out that “Me Too” makes us feel a part of a team, we can “attack the problem” (the enemy) instead of attacking each other.
When communicating with others, especially if it’s a hard conversation requires that we make them feel loved, accepted and known. Having this “Me Too” mentality is crucial to achieving this.
“Acceptance is like an antibiotic that prevents past rejections from turning into present-day infections.”
I think it’s important to note that like Lysa points out, this approach doesn’t “validate” the other person’s actions, but it does stop the cycle of hurt. It enables you to be an “agent of grace” as Lysa calls it!
“No amount of outside achievement fixes inside hurts.”
Thoughts to Ponder from Chapters 5-8:
“Don’t be hard on yourself if you tend to enter situations burdened with your own emptiness. There’s hope! You really can change your habit in this area. I can choose to bring my emptiness or God’s fullness into any situation I face.” (quote below taken from the Uninvited study guide by Lysa TerKeurst)
“With the fullness of God, we are FREE to let humans be humans – fickle and fragile and forgetful.”
“Humility can’t be bought at a bargain price. It’s the long working of grace upon grace within the hurts of our hearts. Each hole left from rejection must become an opportunity to create more and more space for grace in my heart.”
What is God teaching you through this book? What spoke to you in Chapters 5-8? Share in the comments below!
Christy
Founder of The Praying Mom
This website was birthed out of Christy's passion to see women become intentional in their lives. She is passionate about helping moms discover their purpose in their homes, churches, communities & world!
