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This is final post in our discussion of our Uninvited Book Club. We are reading through the book “Uninvited – Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out and Lonely” by Lysa TerKeurst.
I went LIVE in our Facebook group to discuss these chapters. Here’s the video discussion of Chapters 13-16 as well as the bonus chapter:
Chapter 13: Miracles in the Mess
In this chapter, Lysa discusses how even Jesus had to deal with life being messy and hard. As Jesus was performing miracles, he was rejected, mocked and misunderstood time and time again.
I don’t know about you, but for me that is a very freeing idea. It reminds me that I can be gut level honest with Jesus about the hurt and pain that comes with rejection.
But also she reminds us that Jesus continued to do the work of the Father even in the midst of the mess, and we should do the same. We have a tendency to allow rejection to paralyze us. Lysa uses the word “hardened” which she says means “unresponsive, completely lacking sensitivity or spiritual perception”. That is exactly what Satan wants… he wants us paralyzed. Our enemy wants our hearts hardened to the things of God. We have to fight against this tendency and move forward through the pain to see God working in our midst.
“Resisting God’s promises will make us forget God’s presence.”
She also talks about how we are guilty of just taking in spiritual knowledge, but not actually applying it to our lives. I know this has been true of me, maybe you have been here too.
“We can go to Bible study and amen every point made, but if we don’t apply it to our lives, we won’t be changed.”
We see, we hear, but do we apply? Do we allow those truths to TRANSFORM our minds?
Romans 12:2 – “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
“Inspiration and information without personal application will never amount to transformation.”
If we don’t allow God’s truth to transform us, we will find ourselves in the place Lysa describes where we cry out in FEAR rather than crying out to the Lord in FAITH.
“The voices of condemnation, shame and rejection can come at you, but they don’t have to reside in you.”
Chapter 14: Moving Through the Desperate In-Between
In this chapter, Lysa addresses what she calls the “Desparate In-Between”, the time between the rejection and being fully on the other side of it. This is such an important time because we have a choice to make in this season.We can choose to embrace the pain, feel the pain, deal with the pain. This will bring hope and healing. We can choose to run from the pain, numb the pain and stuff down the pain. This will bring bitterness, resentment and anger. Which one will you choose?
“We must feel the pain to heal the pain.”
“Numbing the pain never goes to the source of the real issue to make us healthier. It only silences our screaming need for help.”
She reminds us “the pain isn’t the enemy.” We have a real enemy that seeks to “kill and destroy” us. He wants us to be paralyzed in these moments, but we have a Savior who has already conquered that enemy, we just have to tap into His power within us to fight back.
“Pain is the gift that motivates us to fight with brave tenacity and fierce determination knowing there’s healing on the other side.”
“Pain is the invitation for God to move in and replace our faltering strength with His.”
She shares this oh so true thought, “No matter how vast our pit, prayer is big enough to fill us with the realization of His presence like nothing else.”
She closes the chapter with these beautiful prayers adapted from Psalm 91, what a great thing to come back to on those days when we have no words but desperately need God!
Lysa has a beautiful audio recording of these prayers available as a free gift to her readers. Click HERE to get yours.
Chapter 15: I Want to Run Away
In this chapter, Lysa talks about how hard “being stuck” in the cycle of rejection really is… especially when we truly can’t see the good or the light at the end of the tunnel!
“People can’t fix from the outside a perspective that needs to be rewired on the inside. Only the Lord can do that.”
There’s no amount of “self help” jargon that can move us through these seasons like turning to God can. But as Lysa says, “in reality, turning to God felt a bit like trying to hug air.” Turning to God does not always seem tangible and in the moment we feel we NEED something tangible. She reminds us that God’s Word IS tangible and sometimes all we have to cling to!
As she recounts Jesus in the Garden, it is a beautiful picture of what it looks like to stare down the pain and conquer it with the words, “Yet not what I will, but what you will.” We have to look no further than our precious Savior to see the path to freedom!
As hard as these times are… they are necessary. Here’s some truths Lysa reminds us to revisit…
- “When the sorrowful winds of the east blow, I forget they are necessary.”
- “When I’m being processed, I forget it’s for the sake of ridding me of bitterness.”
- “When I’m being crushed, I forget it’s for the sake of my preservation.”
“On the other side of every hardship is resurrection.”
This is true for Jesus and this is true for us… freedom is on the other side!
Chapter 16: What I Thought Would Fix Me Didn’t
There is no quick fix Lysa reminds us at the beginning of this chapter! There is only one fix and that is Jesus. Sounds cliché’ I know, but I hope in the depth of your soul you know that it’s true!
“The spotlight never fixes our insecurities. It only magnifies what we thought popularity would cover up.”
Lysa says that we think “lesser things can truly satisfy” so we “forever chase the wind.”
“Rejection may be a delay or distraction or even a devastation for a season. But it’s never a final destination.”
“It’s not about you becoming anything. Your soul was made to simply be with Me. And the more you are with Me, the more you will stop fearing what the world might take from you.”
Bonus Chapter: What’s It Like to Do Life with Me?
Whether we like it or not, there is a need for us to ask ourselves some hard questions from time to time! I love that Lysa ends this book with this thought of “What’s It Like to Do Life with Me?… that’s a scary vulnerable questions, but a good one.
I love how she talks about Proverbs 4: 23-27 as a checklist for our lives. What hit you as you read this section?
Here’s a few thoughts to ponder:
- Is there at least one relationship where you are the “know it all”?
- Can you see places where pride rears its sneaky head?
If you can’t see it, then consider what Lysa says, “The less we feel we need to address pride in our lives, the more it has already blinded us.” Ouch! That one hurts, but in a good way! Lots of work to be done here for me personally!
- Do our words build up or tear down?
- Do you assume the worst or believe the best?
This is an area I think every human struggles in, especially when we are using our words behind the anonymity of a screen. May we really strive to evaluate each word to keep them helpful and encouraging especially in our homes as well as out in the world!
- Do we seek to understand someone else’s perspective even when we don’t agree?
- Are we only seeking out own agenda?
Unity can’t happen without reframing our perspective. We have to be able to look at things from a bigger perspective than our own, fixing our eyes on Jesus helps us to do that!
“Wisdom seeks to see someone else’s vantage point even if I don’t agree with that person’s perspective.”
We are going to get these things wrong all too often, but I love the steps that Lysa challenges us to take here:
Backtrack: “Admit we’ve been wrong.”
Back Up: “Ask for forgiveness.”
Back Down: “Intentionally show that person the action for which we asked for and breaking unhealthy patterns.”
I hope you will take some time to do the Assessment in the back of the book. You can get an online printable version HERE.
The journey through this book for me has been very life changing. It has truly helped me solidify many of God’s fundamental truths into my soul. I feel this will help as I continue on my journey and encounter the rejections, hurt and pain that will surely continue to come my way.
I would love to hear how God has used this book in your life. Comment below.
Founder of The Praying Mom
This website was birthed out of Christy's passion to see women become intentional in their lives. She is passionate about helping moms discover their purpose in their homes, churches, communities & world! Follow more of her journey HERE